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I had now reached the top of your thigh and my hand was moving along your panty line, without a word I let my finger slide underneath into the damp warmth. Withdrawing my finger I slowly put it in my mouth, smelling you, tasting you. As I did the heel of your hand pressed harder in little circular motions against me. I pressed my lips to your ear. ”Be careful, dear heart, it has been so long for me and I want this evening to last.” This time you wiggled on the bench, straightening your back, allowing my fingers to go inside… deep inside you. As I pumped in and out your breathing became heavy and fast, soft moans escaped from deep inside you. No one was near yet it was so exciting as you pulsated and shook at the table. Waves of your juices poured from your body. You kissed me as you said, ”Sign the check and take me upstairs, now!” My foot closed the door as we melted into each others arms. We kissed long and passionately then I turned you in my arms and kissed the back of your neck. Was I just thinking too much?I needed to get a little perspective here. Despite all the supposedly fabulous men I had dated, I had never really had a boyfriend.Shocking, isn't it?What was the value in having a boyfriend? I could get a quality date whenever I wanted, to do whatever I wanted, wherever I wanted. I could have as little or as much sex as I wanted, and whatever kind I wanted. I could have complete control over any situation.A boyfriend would feel entitled to make demands on my time, on my attention, to have some say in the relationship. What did I need that for when I could get everything I wanted at no cost?Maybe this wasn't love and forever after; maybe it was just infatuation. Perhaps I had just been caught up in the moment. It was a most excellent moment to be sure, but a moment nonetheless.I loved being with Jeff, but I could do that whenever I wanted without having to make any kind of commitment.Well, maybe I couldn't. I would ask him for a specific time and he.
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